I.F.S. Therapy for Trauma and Anxiety

Internal Family Systems Therapy Online and in person in Tigard, OR

IFS therapy may be a perfect for you to overcome trauma and anxiety if:

You aren’t very aware of your emotions.

You want to gain a better understanding of who you really are.

You feel like there’s an internal war inside.

You have a part of you that keeps you from living the life you’re wanting to live.

Internal Family Systems Therapy Explained.

Hello Portlanders interested in the IFS therapy model! Have you ever seen the Disney movie Inside Out? If so, you have a pretty good depiction of some of the key concepts behind IFS. In fact, Frank Anderson, MD, who trained with the IFS Founder Dick Schwartz, was consulted on that movie. Crazy, right?!? Just like the movie, IFS posits that we all have parts or subpersonalities holding emotions inside of us. IFS or the Internal Family Systems theory is a model of therapy that suggests every person has an internal world of different “parts” or perspectives. It’s a very gentle theory, because it suggests that none of our parts are bad. In fact, there’s a book that the founder of the model, Richard Schwartz wrote entitled, “No Bad Parts”. Just this concept alone can be freeing. You don’t have to shame yourself or be mad at yourself. Instead, you can seek to understand yourself through non-judgmental curiosity and this greater understanding often leads to greater self-compassion, reducing internal angst. Just think about that for a minute…if I were to step into your head and hear all of your thoughts, would they typically be anxious thoughts? Or thoughts that are shouting at each other? Would your internal world be chaotic and judgey? If so, how much would compassion and a new perspective of yourself and the world change your life?

Here’s how IFS therapy works practically speaking. Let’s say you have a part of you that is very critical of yourself. This part says things like, “I didn’t do well enough” or “If I don’t do that perfectly I’m going to fail”. If you start to notice this part with curiosity, and practice seeing it only as a part of you and not the only way you see yourself, you might start to realize this inner critic is only trying to help. Maybe you discover it’s trying to help you do better and it thinks if it doesn’t yell and scream at you and shame you then you’re going to make a mistake or get lazy. Understanding its intention can then help you understand if there are other ways to help it meet its goal without the harsh attitude. You may even recognize that this part is born from a place of never feeling like you were good enough in childhood with one of your parents. Awww-what a tough beginning! And wow, now that part of you feels understood and seen and heard and you actually want to help this hurting part and address the hurt so it doesn’t have to work so hard yelling at you to improve. You see what we did there?

Interested in finding out more about your internal world? Ready for some new insight into yourself and why you do what you do? Curious about how you could be less reactive and more at rest and peace inside? Then give me a call. I’ll help you down this road so you can respond to yourself differently using IFS therapy.

According to IFS, we all have parts. Here’s how IFS categorizes all your parts. It says all of your parts are trying to help you and have good intent, even if the outcome of their help isn’t so good. The goal is to help you get your true “self” in charge of your system, instead of your parts. You can’t just go to a part of you and tell it to stop that! You’ve got to figure out the underlying reason for that part of you acting that way and address the root of it so it doesn’t feel forced to act the way it does.

Your true “self” is described in 8 c’s : curious, compassionate, clear, connected, creative, confident, calm, and courageous.

Exile Parts

Exiled parts are the parts of you that are carrying what IFS calls a “burden” which might also be referred to as a wound or an extreme emotion or belief. These are the parts of you that are holding the hurt that you may be trying to avoid or shut out. You wind up locking up the parts of you that are hurt the most just so you can make it. When these raw spots or hurts aren’t healed, and they get triggered, other parts come to the exiles rescue. FYI-these exile parts of us tend to be young and stuck in the past. Examples of wounds include parts holding shame, unmet needs, lack of connection, and feeling unloved.

Protector Parts - Managers

These parts try to prevent the pain and keep the exile from getting triggered. Society and culture tend to love these parts because they’re hard working, diligent, exhausted and overworking parts. They run our day-to-day life and they’re tired and want help. And when they fail to keep the wound from getting triggered, they feel terrible. These parts tend to take over in a big way.

These may be the parts that avoid conflict, want to be funny, take care of others, accommodate and want to be liked. They might try to look perfect or keep you a certain distance from people so no one gets close enough to trigger you etc.

Protector Parts - Firefighters

When there’s a raging fire inside and you couldn’t prevent the exiles pain from getting triggered, you need something to jump in and stop the pain. These reactive parts are the firefighter parts. They don’t care about how their “rescue” might hurt your relationships or yourself; they’re just interested in saving you from the current pain that got triggered. These are the parts that tend to cause us the most trouble. They’re so interested in stopping the pain when the wound is triggered that they will drive you to extreme things-like drinking and cutting and binging and excessive exercising. These parts may be parts that are critical, shaming or yelling at our loved ones. They feel they have to show up when the wound gets activated.

FAQ’s about IFS

  • IFS therapy help put your calm, curious, courageous, confident, connected, compassionate self in charge of your life (did you like all those c’s? haha). Those “c” words, in this theory, are descriptors of your true self, before more dominant parts took over. When your true self starts to lead your decision making and how you see and respond to the world, life feels a lot better.

    IFS therapy can help you work through trauma, build more insight into yourself and why you do what you do, and help you discover other ways of addressing situations.

  • Often, you will find that you have many “parts” of you that have stepped up to account for trauma. You could have a hypervigilent part that is ready to alert you of danger at a moment’s notice. Or a part of you that won’t fully trust anyone because of personal trauma you’ve endured. IFS therapy can help you get to know these parts, build a connection with them, and work with them to allow you to deal with the pain they are working so desperately to avoid. IFS helps you get your real “self” back in charge, instead of one of these parts, and may even help these parts release their fears so they can continue to help and be a part of you, but in a more balanced way.

  • While there are many other therapy modalities that are far better known, IFS is quickly gaining popularity. It is an evidence-based theory and can be used to treat a number of mental health concerns.

  • Richard Schwartz, the founder of IFS therapy, has written several books on the subject. He also has a website that explains more about it as well as the research behind it. Check out his website at: https://ifs-institute.com/

  • IFS Therapy seeks to restore trust in the confident, courageous, creative, connected, curious, compassionate “self” that it says resides in each of us.

    IFS also looks to bring permanent healing of our emotional wounds and release the parts of us that have been forced into more extreme roles (thinking cutting, hypervigilence, drinking etc). What if that part of you didn’t have to work so hard to protect you from the wounds it’s trying to help you escape from? What if that critical part of you didn’t fear so much that you’d mess up? Would it still be so critical?

  • IFS therapy is contraindicated if you are currently in an unsafe situation, an abusive relationship or unsafe environment. It’s important to get safe first!

    It’s also not the best choice if you’ve had a traumatic brain injury.

Validated methods.

Compassionate care.